|
 Remove teddy bear
from oven and preheat oven to 375.
Melt 1 cup
margarine in saucepan.
Remove teddy bear
from oven and tell Jr "no, no."
Add margarine to 2
cups sugar.
Take shortening
can away from Jr. and clean cupboards.
Measure 1/3 cup
cocoa.
Take shortening
can away from Jr. again and bathe cat.
Apply antiseptic
and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening
from cat's tail.
Assemble 4 eggs, 2
tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.
Take smoldering
teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for
ventilation.
Take telephone
away from Billy and assure party on the line the call was a
mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call
removed from bill.
Measure 1 tsp.
salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.
Let cat out of
refrigerator.
Pour mixture into
well-greased 9x13-inch pan.
Bake 25 minutes.
Rescue cat and
take razor away from Billy. Explain to kids that you have no
idea if shaved cats will sunburn. Throw cat outside while
there's still time and he's still able to run away.
Frosting:
Mix the following
in saucepan:
1 cup sugar
1 oz unsweetened chocolate
1/4 cup margarine Take the darn teddy bear out of the @#$%
broiler and throw it away -- far away.
Answer the door
and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't know Jr had
slipped out of the house and was heading for the street. Put Jr
in playpen.
Add 1/3 cup milk,
dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes.
Answer door and
apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in
man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for ruined carpet.
Tie Billy to
clothesline.
Remove burned
brownies from oven. |
