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Do decide on a style
that matches the location. The home and grounds are the backdrop
to the wedding and that can be an inspiration for a style or theme,
Chavis says. "You could have a sweet cottage in the woods, and maybe
you use that to inspire the decorating with moss in centerpieces and
wild flowers. Go for an intimate feel. But if working with a grand
home that looks like a French Chateau, you will want a tent and an
affair to match it. Maybe you’d hang a chandelier from the center of
the tent." And use what the location has to offer: If the home has a
porch, that might be a great place for the guest book or for the
family photos.
Do choose focal points. You want to set the scene and tell folks
that they’ve arrived at a party. "The first impression, the first
focal point, is important," Chavis says. "Maybe you decorate the
trees or the home’s door."
Don’t forget hidden costs. "Unless you’re having a very
intimate, casual affair, an at-home wedding isn’t necessarily
cheaper," Chavis warns. Here are some of the extra things to
consider the cost of: tents, port-a-potty and kitchen rentals, valet
parking, furniture storage, cleaning before and after the event, a
generator for extra electricity.
Do know local ordinances. Of course it’s polite to let neighbors
know when you’re going to throw a big bash at home (or even to
invite them to avoid complaints), but you also need to know the law.
Remember what happened in to Steve Martin’s Father of the Bride when
he didn’t get the appropriate permit for parking a zillion cars on
his residential street. Don’t let that happen to you. Also look into
noise curfews and regulations on port-a-potties, Chavis says.
Don’t forget good port-a-potty etiquette. A good rule of thumb
is to have a port-a-potty for every 50 people, Chavis says. "You
don’t need to go crazy and have more than that," she says. But you
may want to consider ways to upgrade, decorate or make the
experience as pleasant as possible: "Don’t forget that people need a
place to wash their hands with wet wipes, they need a place to look
in the mirror, they need the area to be lit."
Do make house rules. "It’s important to have a sense of what’s
off-limits and those limits need to be made very clear to the family
and the guests," Chavis says. If the wedding is being held outside
and you don’t want guests inside, lock all the doors. Or, if you’d
like to allow folks into part of the house, cordon off the rest.
Do make the
practical fun. If you do want to allow people into the host
home, be creative: "If you’re worried about your floors or carpets,
you could make a rule that guests have to take off their shoes. And
then create cute personalized doormats or placemats for them to put
their shoes. Or have circles in the wedding colors as shoe holders."
The whole idea is to make something practical have a bit of your
personal style. That’s what guests will remember, not that they had
to remove their shoes, she says.
Do anticipate all of the guests’ needs. "I have some rules
for my clients for keeping guests happy. They can’t be too cold or
too warm and they must be well fed and given enough to drink,"
Chavis says. If the basic needs aren’t met, guests get cranky and
unhappy and it makes for a less than great party, she points out.
"Anticipate what’s needed to keep them comfortable from extra shawls
to little personal fans to extra umbrellas. And get ready to trouble
shoot if needed!"
Do your tent research. If you’re going to rent a tent,
consider: your climate, whether the wedding will be day or evening,
how many people have you invited, what will you be doing in the
tent. Some tents are more weatherproof than others. Some have flaps
to close in the event of bad weather. Do you need a heater or
cooler? Does an electrical setup come with the tent? Is there a
place for the band, the buffet, the cake, the dance floor, the bar?
Don’t forget the importance of lighting. "Lighting can be a
design element," Chavis says. "You might have these beautiful floral
arrangements that you want to highlight with pin spotting or do some
lighting on the dance floor." Beyond the artistic element of
lighting, don’t forget that guests will need to be able to see where
they’re walking, whether it’s to the port-a-potty, or to their car.
Don’t forget the day after. Know that there could be wear and
tear—everywhere, Chavis warns, including the lawn (think of the
effects of hundreds of high heels). Don’t forget to arrange for
extra garbage pickup, if necessary.
Do consider a planner. Even if you’re a do-it-yourselfer,
you’ll need some help at some point leading up to or during the big
day, Chavis says. "Think of it as a production. You wouldn’t all of
a sudden say ‘I’ve never done a theatrical event but why not I’ll
just do it myself’—that’s lunacy," she says. "It’s the same thing if
you try to stage a sizeable wedding by yourself."
Don’t panic! "It can be a little daunting when you have 100
people coming into your home or yard, but just think of your four
favorite friends and go from there!"
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